The Traditions We Keep That Make Lasting Memories

“Sometimes personal progress means holding onto what matters most, even as life evolves.”

As the holiday season approaches, I find myself focusing on a few traditions that anchor our family. Over time, I have learned that personal progress does not always mean changing or adding more. Sometimes it means holding onto what matters most, even as life evolves.

One tradition that has remained steady for us is Christmas Eve dinner at an Italian restaurant called Brio. Even after my divorce, this is the one holiday where we always gather for a shared meal with my first husband and his family. I am deeply thankful that we have an amicable relationship and can enjoy this tradition together. What matters most to me is that my sons get to experience their whole family together in one place. After dinner, we attend a Christmas Eve service, and my favorite moment each year is the candlelit singing of Silent Night. It is quiet, grounding, and a reminder of why the season matters.

Christmas morning begins with M&M pancakes. It is nonnegotiable. This year, my son Avery will be working from seven to ten on Christmas morning, and you can bet I will be up early to make sure he has a pancake before he heads out the door. It is a small thing, but it is one of those moments that feels important simply because it is ours.

For many years, lunchtime on Christmas meant bringing Filipino dishes to my mom at her assisted living community. Pancit, lumpia, and bibingka were her favorites, and sharing those foods was a way of honoring her and staying connected. My mom passed away in 2022, but I still plan to make those dishes. These days, I choose to prepare them on a different day, but the tradition remains a way of remembering her and keeping her presence close.

Now that I am remarried, we instead enjoy brunch with my husband Joe’s family. I feel incredibly lucky that they welcomed us so openly ever since we started dating and have always treated my sons as their grandsons. One of our traditions there is to do a cellophane ball where each person rolls a pair of dice for a chance to unravel the ball while wearing oven mitts. It is a high-energy, competitive game with plenty of cheering, yelling, and little prizes falling out of the wrapped ball. A newer tradition has also emerged in the form of a cookie contest, where family members bring their best recipe and we vote on a winner.

Dinner on Christmas Day is cheese and chocolate fondue. It is one of my favorite meals and I joke that one day when I’m in assisted living, my kids will bring me fondue for Christmas. Traditions aren’t always perfect, especially during the teen years: there’s often a bit of dine-and-dash energy, a rushed plate, or a squabble over who took too much pretzel bread or who’s hogging the brownies. I’ve learned to lower my expectations and accept that not every moment will be nonstop joy and yet I still know my kids look forward to our fondue feast each year.

When I think about what I hope my boys remember someday, I hope they will value our traditions, even on a very full day. I hope they know how fortunate they are to have family on both sides who love them. And I like to think when they are older they will still be fixing M&M pancakes and sharing fondue with their mama.

This season has reminded me that personal progress can look like preserving what matters and adjusting expectations along the way. Traditions do not have to be perfect to be meaningful. They just need to be held with intention.

This post is part of the ongoing series inspired by The Four Facets of Better Living: physical wellness, personal relationships, professional purpose, and prosperity habits. These themes are woven throughout the Resilience for Progress framework. If you are interested in learning more or would like to be notified about a future retreat, visit the Contact Me form to share your interest.